Category: Empathy

Work on your emotional defences

We’ve had some extreme weather in the last few days, here in northern England. It would have been a lot worse in my city, had it not been for the barriers set up around the river last time we had a major flood, 12 years ago. Maybe you can see where I’m going with this. There are […]

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Beliefs need to be earned

Once again, this is something of an extension to yesterday’s post, which was all about moving on from who you were told you were, growing up. I try to keep these short, but three minutes is never enough to explore a topic, so sometimes there will be a bit of development in the next day’s post. […]

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Forget what they said about you

Do what you’ve always done. That’s my trusty bit of advice to people unsure of their creative path in life. But I’ve realised there’s an appendage to that. Do what you’ve always done, but… Forget what you were always told.  If you grew up being told you were great at maths, forget it. Loads of people are […]

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Expect things to be good

If you read these sorts of things regularly, or even extremely infrequently, you’ll be very familiar with imposter syndrome. But just in case, here’s Wikipedia: Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Imposter […]

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The best way to support people

Supporting people emotionally is far more important than supporting them with information. Some people reading this will be thinking: well, duh. Others will be skeptical. But skeptics be damned! Emotional support is the foundation of everything! It’s the reason sharing and imparting information feels good, on both sides. In fact, it’s the reason sharing anything feels good. […]

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Your audience reflects your self-worth

How many times have you heard this: “If you don’t love/value/[insert term here] yourself, how can you expect others to love/value/etc you?” I always thought it was rubbish, to be honest. I didn’t follow the logic, and experience has shown me that it’s perfectly possible – indeed often much easier – to care about people […]

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Permission to dream

I have a theory that when you spend time on something, your subconscious (or whatever it is) becomes convinced it must be a worthwhile thing to be doing. We invest in things that are valuable, right? So surely it follows that if we’re investing in things, they must be valuable? Philosophy 101: obviously this is […]

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Why nice people finish first

Do nice guys (people) finish last? You might not be surprised to learn there’s a Wikipedia page all about this, almost certainly written by some really nice people. The Jordan Petersons of this world make a strong case that agreeableness is detrimental to success at work — after all, if you’re a rudderless doormat and don’t work for […]

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Familiarity is the key to social media success

The rise of social media is often viewed with suspicion, because it does something funny to relationships. On the one hand, we worry it’s an impoverished, false version of friendship. But on the other, it’s horribly raw. You can pour your heart out, and people you don’t even know can read it and say the […]

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But have you asked?

We don’t like asking for stuff. Perhaps we think that if one asks for something, it means one can’t get it any other way. I think this is one of the misconceptions about pay rises. I’ve asked for a rise just once in my career, because I felt my salary was too low for what […]

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