Category: Empathy

Cures for self-interrupting

Those of us with a fitness YouTube habit know the fundamental truth of getting painful stuff over with: it goes quicker if you don’t pause it. Self-interrupting is an enormous issue for me — and therefore, I can only assume, for others. The only way I can get through anything without opening a different device, […]

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How do you know what you want?

Self development always seems to start with a hefty presumption. It’s taken for granted that, deep down, everyone knows what they want (what they really, really want) and a bit of psychological archaeology can uncover this crucial piece of the puzzle and set us on the path to eternal happiness. In my experience, that’s just […]

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The power of uncool

Life is a balance of the cool and the uncool. Glamour and excitement and dreary reality. Cocktails and hangovers. Magical Christmas Days and overflowing bins on Boxing Day. Mark Cleaver and Mr Darcy. From what I’ve observed, and the people I’ve met: Embracing the uncool stuff is one of the biggest indicators of success. I […]

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Take a chance on someone

The other day I did a post about not wasting time chasing up dud contacts, and briefly mentioned how the opportunities I’ve had in my career have had nothing to do with begging and chasing, but can almost entirely be traced back to people giving me chances. We are wary about giving or being given chances, perhaps […]

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How to hear yourself

In our age of blogging, selfies and podcasts, it’s surprising this doesn’t come up more often. Or is it? Take in the digital landscape on an average day, and the scene looks like a glamorous party in a fashion campaign video. All around you, people are impossibly comfortable with themselves and their ideas, sharing every thought […]

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What if talent isn’t real?

Don’t penalise yourself, or anyone else, for lack of talent. You might think: ‘Hey! I’m an enlightened 21st century earthling, I don’t judge people!’ But listen: I think we all do this, subconsciously, all day long! Criticising people for putting visible skills and experience to work only fosters a misconception about talent that harms all of us. It also […]

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Where are you flourishing?

If you’re reading blogs like this, the chances are you’ve been spending a bit of time thinking about your shortcomings; it’s natural, and at the heart of so much self-development. But while ‘How can I improve?’ feels like a positive starting point, it will keep confronting us with our weaknesses. And that can be a downer. For […]

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Work on your emotional defences

We’ve had some extreme weather in the last few days, here in northern England. It would have been a lot worse in my city, had it not been for the barriers set up around the river last time we had a major flood, 12 years ago. Maybe you can see where I’m going with this. There are […]

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Beliefs need to be earned

Once again, this is something of an extension to yesterday’s post, which was all about moving on from who you were told you were, growing up. I try to keep these short, but three minutes is never enough to explore a topic, so sometimes there will be a bit of development in the next day’s post. […]

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Forget what they said about you

Do what you’ve always done. That’s my trusty bit of advice to people unsure of their creative path in life. But I’ve realised there’s an appendage to that. Do what you’ve always done, but… Forget what you were always told.  If you grew up being told you were great at maths, forget it. Loads of people are […]

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